Love is a Seesaw game

 Hello everyone, i am here to share another thought. In a relationship, both cannot be dominant at the same time. When one is angry, loving , emotional or high in any feelings then other plays a subtle role so as to balance things out. In my case I always wanted to be dominant or to put in other words I always wanted to do things my way. But my then partner also wanted to be the same. Whereas in my case I was very clear and transparent and never forced him to do anything he is not willing to. But he was very clever and disguised and always gets things done. The tool he used was my emotions. If he wants anything to get done , it will be done either by pleading or crying or self hurting etc ...just to make me do things that he wanted to and that I am not comfortable or willing to do so. He believes that all men want is sexual favours from women , so I should not have any male friends that he don't approve of . All that be believed was men are not so good but the one thing he forgot or conveniently ignored was to trust me. When I asked him about this all he used to say was that he trusts me 100% and he don't believe men. Well!!! If you know me, my next question was aren't you one among them. Nooooooooo, he believes the pledge All Indians are my brothers and sisters. How could this kind of relationship go without argument. There were many...I used to argue with everything. I felt I was a puppet in a puppet show. Though I was put up in the stage , I was being controlled by him. I couldn't take a decision on my own. After a point of time I felt i wasn't myself and that annoyed me so much. I was afraid of every action as to what argument or drama it may lead to. But to be honest he used to do many things selflessly for me. I did enjoy those benefits but not everytime. I don't want anyone to be so selfless for me. It only leads to the comparison. Yes , it did lead to the same. He started feeling that I was not giving the same effort as him. He was in a family where he can take most of the decision on his own, but mine was different. My parents would question me if they get to know that I am doing things differently. You know right how a girl child is taken care of. This is the reason I never wanted him to do any special things for me, if he expects the same i cannot do it like him even if I wanted to because my parents comes first. I cannot cheat them for this relationship. Also I know my parents will accept us . But there is time and place for everything. First i should be confident of this relationship before talking to my parents about it. But before then everything was like seesaw. If i say no to anything, he uses his tactics of crying, then i melt and accept to his deeds. So what is this he gets his deeds done by any means. But i will be a fool in the last. But one thing i realised in the end. Whenever he used to cry, i cried and felt bad for him and did everything for him. But once he changed none of my tears even mattered. People only cry if they want to get things done for themselves. You cannot trust they will have a kind hearted like you. Love is indeed a Seesaw.